Day 22: Fear or Love
DAY 22: Fear or love
Power comes when we take responsibility for what we do with our lives. Each moment where we’re faced with insecurity about our body or area of life, you have to start practicing the power of choice: What part of me is making the decision, the fearful part or the loving? This becomes the core question as you act with greater confidence in your life.
Today, when faced with a challenging situation, thought, emotion, ect, you'll ask yourself "What would one step towards Love look like?"
Maybe it's related to your body, or maybe it's standing up for what you want in another area of your life. Become aware of what choice you're making by allowing yourself to be lead by fear or lead by love and confidence. Share an example of your moment and awareness, and it might be something you've already done this week and formally recognize.
The inside reflects the outside, which is why I’ve put a premium on self-awareness and small action as a pathway to body acceptance and greater self-love.
Another longer story: I’ve alluded to it here and in writing a period in my life where I chose to rewrite my rules on self-love. It stemmed from a personal mental breakdown in my early twenties around feelings of insecurity around my body and my (lack of a) romantic life. The breakdown shocked me to my core. I wasn’t the same person, but I also didn’t know who I was. It even landed me in the hospital with a severe panic attack that lasted three horrific days. During the episode at the hospital, they discovered a softball-sized tumor in my ovary. Not only was my mental state in shambles, I now had a tumor that was just mere months away from totally destroying my reproductive system.
I interpreted it all as a HUGE sign that now was the time to learn what was going on inside me—physically, emotionally and spiritually. And I knew that this road would, in time, release me from feeling like a stranger in my body. I always saw it as connected.
One of the most beautiful things I discovered during my awaking (so to speak) was the poetry of Rumi, a 13th-century Islamic poet/theologian. It felt like water to my spirit, and one poem in particular became the gauge for how I would approach everything scary in my life:
Keep walking, though there’s no place to get to. Don’t try to see past the distances; that’s not for human beings. Move within, but don’t move the way fear makes you move.
So I thought about the above line every single day for years, choosing to either act the way fear makes me or love pulls me. And my confidence, boldness grew because I kept pushing and putting myself into new realms. Today I still revisit this passage when I need it but have found that I can automatically default to the “go for it!” action.
I share this mostly to invite you to create a choice for yourself. You know the costs of staying small, staying hidden, remaining to believe you’re the remains of circumstances beyond your control. Even in our scariest states, we still have a choice: Will I allow fear or love guide me?